What a Joy!

Guys, I don't have anything "deep" to say today, but one thing I just want to say is; what a joy it is to be doing the right thing with your life. To be building lives instead of destroying them. To be saving lives instead of taking them. To be helping people, instead of not caring. It is the most incredible life one could live.

I travel all over the country (US) and the world and don't feel paranoid that someone wants to kill me because I did them wrong. If anyone doesn't like me, that is because they are just persecuting me (which i don't mind). But to know I am doing no one any wrong, really gives me peace.

So my advice to you is to think about where you are going with your life. What are you aiming for? What is the purpose of your life? What are your goals and dreams? Who are you affecting with your life? More than that, who are you impacting? And I mean for good. These are questions that are extremely important to ask yourself.

I really hope you know the answers.

Are you "reeaaallly" Gay?

Disclaimer: First of all, let me clarify that this post is in no way intended to offend anyone who is gay, or to take a jab at them. I would also like to note that my opinions do not reflect the opinion of anyone or any organization that I am linked to. These are solely my points of view. 


With that being said, I just want to share something that has been really nagging me recently.

I have noticed that a lot of people who consider themselves gay, tend to look for a person of the same sex, who actually looks like someone from the opposite sex. What I mean is, I have seen men, looking for other men who actually dress and look like women. I have also seen women, looking for other women, who actually look and dress like men. So this is where my question derives from... Are you really gay?

I mean, in my eyes, someone who is gay, is someone who likes a person of the same sex who looks acts and carries themselves as the sex that they are. Simply put, a man who likes men who look, walk, talk and act like men. Or vice-versa.

But if you are a women and you are looking for another women who actually acts, looks, walks, talks, etc. like a man, then are you actually gay, or are you really looking for a man who will care for you LIKE a women? And in the same way, if you are a man that is looking for a man that looks like a women, are you sure that you are into men, or do you want a women who will understand you and your needs LIKE another man?

As I said, I am in NO way trying to offend anyone, but this question has been in my head for a while. And what I think (my opinion) is that in these cases, the person is not truly gay, they are more confused than anything. They really want the opposite sex, but they want the love, care or understanding that someone from the same sex "may" be able to give, because they are wired the same.

But in those cases, the person may need to be more patient and believe that they can find someone of the opposite sex that has the qualities that they are looking for. Since that is what they really want. And don't think that you have to follow the flow of society that says there are "no good men out there, so to find care it has to be with another women". Or that "women just want you for your money and they have no respect, so you need another man who will treat you like you want to be treated". Neither of these statements are facts or are they true. The truth is, that there are a lot of good men and women out there, and that sure heterosexual relationships are hard, but they can work. You just need that right structure and foundation.

So that's it for today, I just wanted to give you something to think about.

Shoulda Been Dead Block Party in New York

Here is some of the highlights of the Shoulda Been Dead tour that I did in New York last month. To see more, full length performances, keep your eyes on my website ShouldaBeenDead.com. I will be putting them up within a week.

Say NO to them

Listen, it doesn't matter who it is... if someone is advising you to do something that will hurt you, you need to tell them NO.

Our life is made up of each and every decision we make. Each decision is like a seed we are planting on very fertile soil. So even if you think it was just one, it can still develop into something big over time. You can't afford to follow bad advice. That is why you should be careful who you go to to seek advice. If they are not a reliable source (and when I say reliable, I don't mean someone who will say what you wanna hear, I mean someone who will tell you what's right), don't trust their advice.

I have been hearing more and more disappointing stories of young people who were persuaded by people they should have been able to trust, to do something horrible, something that would definitely bring them down. And why did they do it, because they thought that they could trust that person. It's just not worth it. It can be the person you love the most, and if what they are saying is completely wrong, you have got to make a choice to not follow it.

At the end of the day, you only live once, and why destroy the one life you have, because of someone else's bad advice.

When all else fails... Tell the TRUTH! (Admit it part 2)

My mom used to have this saying... Well I think it is a general saying in the south, "when all else fails, tell the truth". I used to laugh like crazy when she would say that, because I have seen a lot of people resort to that. You try lying, but start getting caught up. So you lie some more, and that still doesn't work. After a while you start to feel like you're cornered. So what do you do?? Normally, it's right about there that you get this kind of comment, "alright, I did it" or "so what, maybe that did happen", or "I had no choice", etc. So only when ALL ELSE fails, do most people tell the truth.

But that is completely the wrong way of dealing with things. I was reading something a few months ago about "why" people lie. And the truth (no pun intended) is that most people lie to protect themselves. They lie because the are afraid to face the consequences of telling the truth. But you can't escape consequences. They have a funny way of finding you anyway. So stop running from them and face them. Realize that if you did something you need to suck it up and deal with what you've done. Point blank.

This idea of somehow escaping the truth is crap.

So don't wait until "all else fails"...

just TELL THE TRUTH.

Admit it... (Part 1)

For today, the statement up top speaks for itself. But I will elaborate on this in my next post. 

I can't get my head around this...

This morning I was checking my emails and I stumbled across a story on yahoo about a woman who had a heart attack after eating a burger called a "double bypass" at a restaurant called The "HEART ATTACK" Grill, that has a sign on the front of the door saying "our food is bad for your health".

Now honestly, my heart (no pun intended) goes out to the women. I wish that on no one. But shouldn't you take a hint from the name of the restaurant, or if not that the name of the burger itself, and if not that, the warning sign on the door.

But my blog is not about this woman. May she recover quickly. But in life I find that this kind of thing happens many times. For example the cigarette packs in the picture above... It clearly says "smoking kills", yet does that stop people from burning up their money on them? No. It's like you are paying to kill yourself! That is ridiculous. And by the way, I am an ex-smoker so I have the right to speak on it.

I just think people need to think more. Don't just think about the pleasure that thing will give you, but think about the consequence. Think about how much that may cost you, and it may curve the desire for it.

I guess I am no one to force you to do anything. But you do have a choice. And in the case of cigarettes, if you don't want to listen..... you could always wait until you end up like this (below).

Food for thought...

I haven't blogged in over a week, because I was traveling and didn't have time to stop, but here is a quick inspirational thought.

Big Apple... Here I come.

So this coming week I will be visiting New York City, New Jersey and Philadelphia on a book tour and I will hold a bunch of assemblies at schools in these cities. Below is the schedule. But I will also be holding two events for the general public on Friday and Saturday. At the bottom you will see those events (at the bottom underneath them it is written in blue that they are for the general public). Hope to see you at one of the events.

SCHEDULE for next weeks NY, NJ & Philly Trip

Monday: April 16 - Brooklyn NY.

*School for Human Rights 8:30am

600 Kingston Ave. Brooklyn, NY 11203

*Bedford Stuyvesant Preparatory High School 10:30am832 Marcy Avenue, Brooklyn, New York 11216

*Bushwich Community High School 1:00pm

231 Palmetto Street, Brooklyn, NY 11221

*Rachel Carson High School 2:30pm

521 West Ave. Brooklyn, NY 11224

Tuesday: April 17 - New Jersey

*East Side High School 8:30am

238 Van Buren St Newark, NJ 07105

*Shabazz High School 11:00am

80 Johnson Ave. Newark, NJ 07108

*Technology High School 1:30pm

*Barringer High School 3pm

90 Parker St Newark, NJ 07104

Wednesday: April 18 - Bronx

*Metropolitan High School 10:30am

1180 Rev. James A polite Ave. Bronx, NY 10459

*Peace and Diversity High School 12:15pm

1180 Rev. James A. Polite Ave. Bronx, NY 10459

*Bronx academy of health careers 1:45pm

Thursday: April 19 - Philadelphia

*Robert Vaux High School 9:00am

2300 West Master St. Philadelphia, PA 19121

*Overbrook High School 11:30am

5898 Lancaster Ave. Philadelphia, PA 19131

Friday: April 20 Brooklyn & New Jersey Vigil

*Foundations High School 9:30am

70 Tompkins Ave, Brooklyn, NY.

*Central High School 3:00pm

246 18th Ave. Newark, NJ 07102

*Newark YPG headquarters 10:00pm

‘Shoulda been dead night event’

(Event open for general public)

Saturday: April 21 Brooklyn Block Event 2pm

* Venue: “Open Air” Brooklyn- Fulton St. (Between Classon Ave. & Franklin Ave.)

(Event open to general public)

After that, I'm headed back home to Dallas.

Don't end up like this... Part 2

I've been wondering for the last few days, why this post titled "Don't end up like this..." gathered so much attention, and so fast.

I mean, I posted it around 5 or 6pm and within a hour or so it had over 250 views. I was very surprised. But what is it about that post that caused so much stir? Is is the gruesome picture? Is it the message that hit a nerve? Was it both? Or is it that bad news (bad pictures, words, songs, etc.) spreads quickly. I am aware that the picture is pretty unnerving, but I think it's more of the reality that someone can really get messed up THAT BAD from something that happened to them. Maybe even because of something they did.

The truth of the matter is, you could end up like that guy. As horrible as the thought may be. The actions you make everyday do have consequences, and sometimes they wind up being very severe. Just the sheer look of the guys face makes you feel chills down your back. But imagine if that was someone you knew or if you were looking yourself in the mirror all messed up like that...

Dear friends, I am always saying this, but some of you still don't listen. Life is not a game or a joke. It is serious. There is a reaction to every action. There is a consequence to every decision. There is a flip side to every coin. Please for the love of all that's good, be careful and recognize that if you are not careful with your choices, you too, could end up like "this (below)"... Or maybe even worst!

Are You Just Gonna Stand There And Take That ???

This blog is about cooking, but I think this one has a good point for life.

"Stop being lazy, with finding the solutions to your problem whether it be in the kitchen, your health, finances, family or any area. Look for the answer,I believe it is right in front of you. Find it, recognize it and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT."

The line above is very true. That is the reason I reposted this blog. Not everything it talks about can I relate to. I mean, I know how to cook a bit, but I'm not the kind of guy who is just going to spend all day in the kitchen trying new recipes. But this line about Stop being lazy is sooooo important!

Laziness is like a cancer to your life. It kills you little by little. You spend half the day in bed, you are not productive. You hesitate to get things done. You are a procrastinator. You never 'feel like" doing what you need to, and so you don't.

There is no excuse to be that way. We have to get things done, period. We have to be active and go after things. Life is not going to bring everything to you and lay it at your feet. Sometimes it will take a lot of effort, sometimes it will take sweat and blood and sheer will to achieve something. So be willing to put it in. And yes that applies to whether you are cooking, at school, looking for a job, maintaining a relationship or anything else for that matter. You need will and determination.

So you can check out this blog post below if you want. And if you are in need of cooking advice... You can find some recipes on it too whilst you're at it.

In the kitchen with Elise: Are You Just Gonna Stand There And Take That ???: Life that is worth living is a life that you take care of. It's easy to find people who say. I want to live a long, happy and wonderful l...

Don't end up like this...

A quick message to all you guys and girls out there, with a smart mouth, who love to talk trash to everyone you meet. Watch your mouth, and don't end up like this...

Life is like a box of Chocolates...

Some of you may remember this one. The famous line from the movie Forest Gump...

"Life is like a box of chocolates... you never know what you're gonna get".

This was a line repeated time and time again. And in a sense it's very true. You don't know what you're gonna get outta life. You can't decide each and every thing that will happen from day to day. But you can have a big impact on what you get outta life. You can make good, strategic (meaning thoughtful) decisions each day that more than likely will decide what happens tomorrow.

If you just say, I don't know what I will get outta life, so I might as well not put too much effort into it, you are just setting yourself up for failure. Just because you can't guess the whole future, doesn't mean you shouldn't plan. You absolutely should plan, think, make decisions, and drive your own life, never following those who will lead you the wrong way.

So sure, life is like a box of chocolates, and sure you may not know exactly what you're gonna get. But you can decide to buy or not buy those chocolates each day. And you can be smart enough to read the label, so you may know whats inside (think of the consequences of your actions or decisions). Then you will know.... "what you're gonna get."

just fix it.

There's a saying where I'm from, that goes like this. "It doesn't matter who's right or wrong, just fix it!"

Oh, if only more people would follow that. A lot of people, especially young people get in trouble because of this one thing. They do not know how to focus on the problem and not the person. So they hold grudges, hate the parent, turn against the brother/sister, fight, or do something else crazy. All because they didn't try to be the bigger person and fix it.

There will always be problems in life. Life is not perfect, and nor are people. So when things happen between you and someone, take the initiative to fix it. Don't wait until they come back to you begging for mercy, because what if that just won't happen. You be the bigger person... Even if that means you having to apologize. Just do it.

Just fix it.

Do it.

It's not just some peoples responsibility to do the right thing, it's everyones. It's just that some people choose not to do it.

When you have a choice between right and wrong, choose right. Don't talk about someone who has done nothing to you. Don't fight someone who is only trying to help you. Don't criticize the guy in class or at work who doesn't talk, because he wants to be the best. Don't laugh at the guy who is 21 and still a virgin. Don't assume that you are right when someone else is clearly showing you a better way.

Basically what I am saying is, do what's right, not because you have to (because you don't), but because it is right. If everyones doing bad things, and you do the same, you're just a follower. You will never leave an impact in this world. But if everyone is doing wrong, and you do what's right, then you will find your self in a small group that we like to call........ different.

Wow

Sometimes it feels like all you can say is... wow.

You get a piece of news that is a shocker and you can't believe it, or someone you trusted betrays you, or someone you least expected turns there back on you, what can you say? Really, how do you respond? You may have the desire to go a rip their head off, but that won't fix it. You have to take a long sigh and just let it go. Those are the wow moments.

I'm not talking about the good wow moments. The "wooowww, I can't believe something that great just happened to me". I am talking about those moments when life just clabbered you over the head and you don't really have a fitting response. Really, no response would be quit good enough anyway. So all you can do is breath. Just let it go. Just say to yourself, "wow, I didn't expect that". Then shake it off and get back into the fight. The fight for your dreams, goals, beliefs, etc. to become a reality.

Don't let everything that happens drag you down. If it's one of those negative "wow" moments, then fine. Just get out your "wow", accept reality that YES it DID happen, and carry on. You have to just keep on ticking no matter what.

It's Better

It's much better to struggle and have people turn against you for doing something good, then to be thriving and having everyone love you for the wrong reason.

Get back on track

You can't control everything that life will throw at you. Sometimes things unexpected will happen. But you have to be prepared for whatever. And don't let yourself get off track.

There are times when you will get disappointed or feel frustrated or feel like you failed. But that is all a part of life. The most important thing you can do when that happens is get up, dust yourself off, and get back on track.

That is truly the key. You can get sidetracked, but as soon as you notice it, get back on track and do it fast. That way you will never be diverted for too long, and you will hold on to your goals.

Is it SAFE?

I have a question for you who are reading this...

Is it safe, to hang around negative people if you are trying to be positive?

Is it? Is it safe to say, "I won't do what they do, we are just cool, just friends"?

Is it safe to assume that you will be strong enough to resist the peer pressure when a friend wants to get high and you look like the lame for not wanting to?

Is it safe to think you can be in the room with that girl or guy alone and not take it any further?

Is it safe to totally ignore your studies and hope that you will be able to cram everything in during the last few months or sometimes weeks of school?

Is it safe to put all types of substances in your body and guess that you should be strong enough to handle it?

Is it safe, to play with your life???

You Choose.

Being funny, or the class clown, or the joker of the neighborhood can only take you so far. One day you have to wake up to see life is serious and your choices DO have consequences.

So either learn the easy way (from others mistakes or advice) or the hard way (through you suffering). But one way or the other, you will have to learn.