Saturday, May 26, 2012

Are you "reeaaallly" Gay?

Disclaimer: First of all, let me clarify that this post is in no way intended to offend anyone who is gay, or to take a jab at them. I would also like to note that my opinions do not reflect the opinion of anyone or any organization that I am linked to. These are solely my points of view. 

With that being said, I just want to share something that has been really nagging me recently.

I have noticed that a lot of people who consider themselves gay, tend to look for a person of the same sex, who actually looks like someone from the opposite sex. What I mean is, I have seen men, looking for other men who actually dress and look like women. I have also seen women, looking for other women, who actually look and dress like men. So this is where my question derives from... Are you really gay?

I mean, in my eyes, someone who is gay, is someone who likes a person of the same sex who looks acts and carries themselves as the sex that they are. Simply put, a man who likes men who look, walk, talk and act like men. Or vice-versa.

But if you are a women and you are looking for another women who actually acts, looks, walks, talks, etc. like a man, then are you actually gay, or are you really looking for a man who will care for you LIKE a women? And in the same way, if you are a man that is looking for a man that looks like a women, are you sure that you are into men, or do you want a women who will understand you and your needs LIKE another man?

As I said, I am in NO way trying to offend anyone, but this question has been in my head for a while. And what I think (my opinion) is that in these cases, the person is not truly gay, they are more confused than anything. They really want the opposite sex, but they want the love, care or understanding that someone from the same sex "may" be able to give, because they are wired the same.

But in those cases, the person may need to be more patient and believe that they can find someone of the opposite sex that has the qualities that they are looking for. Since that is what they really want. And don't think that you have to follow the flow of society that says there are "no good men out there, so to find care it has to be with another women". Or that "women just want you for your money and they have no respect, so you need another man who will treat you like you want to be treated". Neither of these statements are facts or are they true. The truth is, that there are a lot of good men and women out there, and that sure heterosexual relationships are hard, but they can work. You just need that right structure and foundation.

So that's it for today, I just wanted to give you something to think about.


  1. One day i asked the same question to myself, people dont know what they want. I agree with you.

  2. i think that people choose to have a partner of the same sex because they think that a partner of the opposite sex will not understand them or care for them like they wish, and a person of the same sex will... For example, when girls gather up and talk about their problems in a relationship in most cases they understand each other and the same with guys so thats where my idea comes from, that they choose to be with the same sex because they think that they both want the same thing and with the opposite sex they sometimes just end up hurt, and maybe they try to avoid that..
    Eunice Reyes, Saner, tribe of GAD

  3. Wow this is such a logical way of looking at it and it makes so much sense! I had to giggle a bit when reading it but I definitely agree.

  4. I think it's important to say here that there are not just two two ways of relating sexually, straight and gay. People come in a whole range of sexualities and sexual preferences all the way from complete chastity to polyamorous (loving everybody)sexual freedom. Let's just accept each other and let each of us decide what it means for ourselves.