Tuesday, September 6, 2011
The day I almost got raped. Part Three (A way out)
Continuing from where we left off on Friday.
Even though I was going through this inner battle, I knew what was right. So I kept insisting with my no, but she kept insisting with her yes. She was actually dragging me away from the door and toward the bedroom. As I think about it now, I don't know where she got that strength from, considering I was so much bigger than her (come to think about it, I know exactly where she got that strength).
Anyway, she actually managed to pull little by little until she had me in the bedroom. By now it wasn't even funny anymore, it was just plain weird. I'm thinking to myself, "this girl is a lunatic!" But the real question in my mind was, how am I going to get out of this without:
a) going through with it, or
b) physically hurting her, to get out the door (which wasn't an option, because I didn't believe in hitting women)
So, in the bedroom she was just as aggressive as before. She said, "I told you I wouldn't let you go! Take off your clothes, we're gonna do it!"
Just then, like a small voice in my head, the thought came, "you haven't asked for help". And then it hit me, I was trying to get out of the situation on my own. But I hadn't asked God for help. If I really wanted to please Him, then in spite of making a stupid decision, I needed to ask Him for help to get out of it. And in that very moment, I uttered under my breath "Jesus, please, help me." I think I was asking help to get out and to resist my own will to sleep with her.
As soon as I said those words, we heard the front door opening. We were in the room closest to the main door, so we could hear it easily. It was actually her room mate. And the funny thing is, because she was having to pull me into the bedroom, she just simply looked for the first room in sight, and that happened to be the roommates room, not hers.
So when she heard the front door, she stopped "attacking me" and went to check who it was. I forgot to mention, she had two roommates, but the room she was in, was the one that had come home.
So she got up and went to see who it was. By the time the she got to the room door, the roommate was trying to open it. So she quickly opened it and pushed her back. So the two of them began to argue (I guess the roommate didn't like the thought of someone "dirtying" her bedsheets). So the girl pulled the roommate away from the door so that I couldn't hear the argument.
As I heard the voices fading down the hall, the thought came into my mind, "this is your shot". Because I could tell that their voices had passed the point where the main entrance was. So I jumped up, fixed my clothes a little, and ran for the door. When I say ran, I mean RAAANNN. Because If she had come back into that room, my resisting power would have run out. So I ran for my life. I felt like Joseph for a moment (though I was a lot stupider). But I got away. And I didn't sleep with her.
I feel like that was really a turning point in my faith. That is the first time I ever resisted so strongly. And that was the last time I EVER put myself in such a situation.
The moral of this story is; first of all, never trust yourself enough to flirt with wrongdoing. And never put yourself in a situation that you may regret. It's like the old saying goes, "prevention, is better than cure". I should have listened to the right voice in the first place and not have been alone with her. But I was being foolish. Don't make the same mistake!
And the second important point is that God really is faithful enough to always provide a way of escape. There is no wrong doing that you just can not avoid. If you don't avoid it, it's because you don't want to. God showed me a way out because I was looking for one.
Check this out:
"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to humanity. God is faithful and He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation He will also provide a way of escape, so that you are able to bear it." (1 Corinthians 10:13)